Thursday, July 24, 2014
When is enough enough? How many times can someone lie before you finally stop believing them? When does personal respect step in and say I can't do this anymore? I have listened to a loved one lie their way through life for the past 33 years. I've cried, screamed, argued, and finally became quiet. I have asked why, but there is no answer. He is unable to tell the truth. It is so much easier for him to lie. I have never been afraid to be alone, though at this point of my life, it would be difficult. I am sad. I had hoped for so much more in my life. I have said before that I have become the caretaker for everyone else in my life. So, am I to blame? Have I allowed myself to become nonexistent? I made the difficult decision almost 13 years ago to move on. But, due to laziness, let myself be talked into staying. Why? It just seemed to take too much effort for life. And, oh the promises... So once again, I find myself in the position of knowing more than I should. I am tired. I am sad. I am done. Be kind to one another.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
So I started on a new quilt. Love the colors, all civil war reproduction prints and colors; blacks, tans, mustards, and deep reds. Found the quilt in a magazine, decided it would be perfect. Took a count, needed 100 pinwheels. Ok, got started. Cut all the dark blocks, ran out of room on my desk, so only cut about half the tan blocks. Somehow, in my "I can't remember a damn thing" brain, I was surprised when I finished with the tan blocks that I had cut. Wow, that was fast. I'm already done. And I wonder, why do I have so many dark blocks left over. Pull out the pattern...That's odd. Oh yeah, I need 100 pinwheels, not 50. How in the world did I forget that? Otherwise, why would I have cut out 100 dark blocks? And I still need to cut out 150 more tan blocks. It is sad when your brain takes a break and forgets to tell you.