A Very Long Week...Time to Regroup

Good morning from the rancho.

It is early, early, early Saturday morning.  Quiet and cool.  Okay, it's 70 degrees, but that's not bad. Our forecast is in the 100's, again.  Here is what I found last Saturday when I got in my car...

It dropped to 113 degrees as I went down the highway.  I guess that was a bit better.  We have at least another week of this weather.

Since it has been so hot in the afternoons, no yard work for me.  Here is my stitching update.

So...we have failed at hospice.  Medicare filed a request for review.  Since my dad has been on hospice for four years, Medicare felt that we were abusing the program. Based on the review, we have been taken off of the program.  I am not angry at hospice.  They have done everything to keep us, but Dad is dying too slowly for Medicare's liking.  That is the nature of his disease. There was not enough monthly change to justify their participation.  To be honest, the only parts of hospice that we used were the weekly baths, the nurse visits, the music volunteer, and the social worker.  I use a caretaker service while I am at work, and the ladies have offered to do Dad's baths.  My husband's doctor is also a friend, so he will take Dad as a patient and do house calls.  But the moral support? The music?  Those I will miss.  Our music volunteer had made a point to learn the old western songs for my dad.  Sigh.  I don't know who cried more, me or my worker...

I am torn.  I want my Dad, but the man in the hospital bed is not really my dad anymore.  He hasn't spoken in over a year and his body is very contracted due to the Parkinson's.  I miss his smile so very much. All I can keep thinking is that my dad would be angry to know that this is what he has become. Hospice has recorded in our file that my dad is alive because of the excellent care that he receives. But, I won't ignore him. I will take care of him until the end.

So, after a pretty trying week, I am looking forward to a three day weekend.  I have a few chores to do, but plan on spending some quiet time with myself, trying to regroup.

Be kind to one another.