Sunday, February 15, 2015

Would You Like A Glass With That Whine?

First of all, the title is spell correctly. LOL

This is a "I am so tired" post. So...if you plan on staying, please put on your big girl panties (or big boy boxers) and pull up a chair.

You will notice that it is just after five am on a Sunday. Yep, once again, I am exhausted all day, but once I'm up to do my early Dad chores, I can't go back to sleep. I am afraid to count the weekend sunrises I've seen the past year.

I am now on the weekly visit list for our Hospice social worker. She is an amazing person, who truly cares about the well-being of Hospice patients and their families. I have a lot of respect for her opinion. She is afraid that I am ready to implode. We discussed medication (for me) and some relaxation techniques (again, for me). I usually have my annual doctor's appointment in June. She is suggesting that I see my doctor WAY before that. Honestly, I don't have time for a breakdown. LOL I have always been an organized, focused person, but now, find myself writing notes to remind me to clean the coffee pot and pay my bills! I used to joke at work that I was the post-it-note queen. It is not a joke anymore. I do my Dad chores, then start on household stuff. I finish one task and then come to a screeching halt. I just can't seem to keep going. And if I sit down, that's it. It takes too much effort to get moving again. That's where my list comes into play. I'm hoping that if I see it written, I have a better chance to get it done. It's almost like I resent the world poking it's nose into my life. I don't want to sew, to stitch, to exercise, to visit with friends. I just want to be left alone. So, I haven't my "circle of crap" getting bigger...or smaller? It's not that my dad chores don't get done, just the rest of my life chores.

One of the things that Gloria (our social worker) has asked is that I plan for some personal time. Walk to the end of the road, enjoy the sunshine. Okay, so I did get outside to feed the goats the past few days. LOL I am trying to take a chore and turn it into an adventure. I've mentioned George, my dog. He is a 95 pound rottweiler that thinks he is a lap dog. He loves, loves, loves (did I say loves?) small children. He will follow them around, taking every chance he can to give them a lick. He has the same attraction to goats. I need to say that we DO NOT allow him outside in the yard when the baby goats are out of their pen. I trust George, but the goats are so small, he could hurt them by trying to love on them. The goats were supposed to go home yesterday, but are still here. Not sure why.

Here is my husband with dinner for the babies.

A little closer. See that interested face right behind him?

Now, dinner is done. Just how close can George get?

I am taking Gloria's advice and hoping for a beach day tomorrow. It is a state holiday and we have daycare for Dad. We didn't do anything special for Valentine's Day, so am thinking that a nice lunch tomorrow is due. I am still waiting for the sunrise. LOL Be kind to one another.

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