All Alone...Almost...

Been back to work for a week now. I cannot believe how much paperwork makes it's way to my desk, and then moves in! Every vacation is closer to retirement. I only have about 18 months to go. I can do this. DH and stepson went to the Sierras for a week. So.....it is just me and Dad. Been a really long time since I've only had to take of just two people. Dad is on full soft meals, so mostly soups. That means I can have anything I want for dinner. I've had a blue cheese burger, bean burritos, and salad with chicken. So much easier than the full meals I am usually expected to prepare. I have taken care of others my whole life. The oldest of three, it was my job to be the babysitter. Married at 20, got a husband, still taking care of him. Then assorted family members moving in and out for the next six years, then had my son. About the same time he moved out, in moved my dad. In my whole life, I think I have been responsible for JUST me for about one year. It's not that I don't love my family, but I am so tired. I take a few days every three months for myself, but the tired comes back. I know that I will miss my dad when he is gone, but after a year of hospice, I don't really see an end anymore. I think I will have some popcorn with extra butter, watch a silly movie, do some stitching, and go to bed early. Maybe that will fix my attitude. Be kind to one another.