"Yesterday, when I was young, the taste of life was sweet as rain upon my tongue..."
This is one of my favorite Roy Clark songs. My father loved country music. I remember waiting for the show Hee Haw, to begin. This was the 1960's, when you still had to get up to change the channel. It really wasn't a problem since we lived in the country and only got two channels. LOL
This past weekend was tough. It was Dad's birthday and saying happy birthday to someone who can't respond seemed so incredibly sad. It wasn't a good day. And the garbage just came coming...work was horrible on Monday. It seemed that everyone saved their complaints and hit me with all of them in the first 15 minutes. Big sigh...
Yesterday, the very worst...a good friend lost her son. He was only in his 30's. She and her family are so very sad. I cannot imagine the loss of a child. I know that my father is going to die, but it is the natural progression of aging. It is not natural for a child to die.
I began to think back on my life. Did I do it right? Would I be the same person I am today if I had went to college instead of going to work and then marrying at 20? At this point, I suppose that it is what it is...
This brought to mind the feelings that I had as a teenager. I was unsure of myself, so concerned that I wasn't as cute as the other girls, I wasn't as popular. I didn't have the long blond hair that was so important in California...I've learned that blond hair can be purchased and popularity can change in a moment based on who is gossiping about who. Friends are the ones that love you for who you are...
I went through my yearbook and found a couple of pictures to share. Here is my senior picture. This was taken in 1978 when natural backgrounds were all the rage...
I look so innocent. I can't remember being this young.
And to show that I was a crafty girl, even WAY back then, here is me in my painter's overalls. Notice the large "A"? Embroidered it myself.
I'm rambled on enough. I suppose that melancholy is a good word for how I feel. I think that I was so excited and up when my son was visiting, it was a quick drop to reality. I will put on my big girl panties and get back on track. Hug the ones you love, be kind to one another.
Sometimes, you just are sad, and as we get older, we mourn for people gone, times gone by, for things we didn't do. But today is all we have. So yes, wipe your tears, get back on track, and live the life you have. And btw, your picture shows a pretty young girl, who didn't need blonde hair at all.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Hilary. I laugh now about my hair. I used to get it wet at night and tie it back so it would dry straight. About the time I hit 30, I realized that people PAID to have hair like mine. LOL
DeleteOh goodness! I grew up watching Hee Haw. Both my parents loved country.
ReplyDeleteYou got that right Sugar! And I am one of the ones who loves you for who YOU are! Seriously.
I am sorry. So sorry how very hard this all is with your Dad.
I prayed for you. And now here is a big 'ol hug!
You are so sweet, Vickie. This is still one of the hardest things I've had to do...but, I will get it done. Thank you for the hug!
DeleteThis must have been one of these days where you feel so overwhelmed by all and everything. It's always hard to get through such a day but the good thing is that they go away. So it's a good thing to vent and then go on with your life. Big hugs from me, too.
ReplyDeleteGood morning, Brigitte. Thank you. I've got my big girl panties on and it's Friday. I CAN do this. LOL Thank you for the hug.
DeleteOh friend, I am so sorry about your Dad. It appears we were both having a day of sadness yesterday. Prayers for your friend that loss her son. How very sad, at such a young age to loose your life. I remember Hee Haw, we watched it, my dad loved it, too. We lived in the burbs and only got 4 channels back then! Guess we were living in "high cotton" and didn't even know it. :) I think you look adorable. I love seeing pictures of everyone when they were younger. There is so much hope on their faces. I think we all look back and wonder what if...if we had taken this road or that, how would our lives be different. I use to do that, but now I am thankful for all the roads I took....for if I had not traveled down those roads, that often were covered in heartache, but also love and great joy, I would not be who I am today. And as 50 looks my crazy butt straight in the face...I am happy with who I am...and very thankful for those who are in my life. ((hugs)) to you sweet friend...and I prayer today is filled with peace for you. :)
ReplyDeleteLOL Oh, you were one of the "rich" kids. LOL I bet it was in color, too!!
DeleteI know that I would never really want to change my path...it brought me my husband, my son, a job I that I love (except on Mondays). I think I was just hitting a dark patch. But, I'm learning to go with the flow. It's okay if I have a sad day. And it helps quite a bit to talk it out here. I used to worry so much about having a sad day, I would just get worse. I've taken suggestions from friends here and mixed them all up so they work for me. I am very grateful for the support. Have a wonderful weekend!
Oh I totally get the black patch. Sometimes, it really is good to "talk" it out on our blogs, get feed back and as you say, gleam from all that what works best. How else would we ever truly appreciate what we have if we did not have a "black patch" with time to reflect. :) Wishing you a most lovely day. :)
DeleteI think Stitchy said it all! Those pictures of the young Angela are adorable. You know you can't go back, you can only go forward. Only hope your work place settles down. Your Dad's situation is a very sad one and living with him like this takes a lot of resolve. But it's normal to have bad days and I'm glad you can share your feelings with us. Hope it helps to write about it...I hope you are feeling all the cheering and good thoughts we all hold for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jocelyn. I started this blog to have somewhere to "talk it out". It hurt worse to hold everything in. Over time, I've found more support here than I ever imagined. I appreciate it so much. Have a great weekend!
DeleteMy grandfather had Alzheimer's when I was in high school/college. It was so sad. My mother was a rock through the whole thing. Making sure he was cared for and visiting him every week in the VA home.
ReplyDeleteDon't second guess your life. Just from reading your blog, I can tell you are loving and caring person. Even if your father doesn't seem to know you, I'm sure he does deep down in his soul :)
You look adorable in your pics!!
Keep your chin up and think happy thoughts for the coming week.
Thank you, Rachel. I am so sorry about your grandfather. Dementia is a horrible disease and I feel for your mom. Watching a loved one die one memory at a time is terrible. I am doing much better and am holding on to happy thoughts.
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