Sunday, August 21, 2016

Sailing Off The Edge of The World

Good evening from the edge of the world.  Well, not really,  but it feels that way...

Have you ever been sailing on the smooth ocean of life? Suddenly,  a breeze rises, then becomes a full gale.  You find the boat taking on water, but the lifeboat is missing.  You can see an island in the distance,  but you're pretty sure that you don't have the energy left to swim.

Things have not changed much in the past three years.  But after my vacation, it became increasingly difficult to cope with the day to day sadness.  Not that I was looking at alternatives,  but I became very withdrawn.  Every move was like walking through jello. Each day was a repeat of the last. I began to live on sugar and carbs which did absolutely nothing to improve my attitude.  I was sailing towards the edge of the world at full speed. I still did the things that were necessary,  but I knew that a crash was inevitable.  I would look in the mirror and not see ME.  I would sleep through the weekend,  getting up only to care for my Dad and eat more sugar. Not a very healthy lifestyle.  LOL

I still worked, still did my projects,  but didn't find much joy in either. 

I'm not sure what changed,  but after about a month, I finally jumped in and started swimming towards the island. Am I still tired? Absolutely.  Am I still sad? Of course.  But at least I'm heading back towards my life.

I  finished the last bag of M&Ms and did not buy another.  I  crept back onto the treadmill.  I pulled out my crocheted blanket and finished the last 10 rows.

So, I am here. Thank you so much to those who checked on me.  It meant alot.

I am okay. A little worse for wear, but I'm collecting supplies and ready to sail home.

I  have pictures of a few projects,  but I will save them for my next post.  Be kind to one another. 


  1. Oh my...I'm so sorry you've had a hard time. I totally understand! Things aren't that great around here either, but I'm trying hard to keep going and be positive--it doesn't always work so well, though! I hope you will find peace and contentment, but I'm not quite sure how to tell you where it is!! So, hang in there! <3 Sorry, but those are my only words of wisdom!!! I'll be thinking of you!

  2. So sorry to read about you having such tough times. I hope that you will soon be able to find a way out of the tunnel again. I'll be thinking of you, Angela.

  3. Whew, you had me worried Angela. Don't do that again. Say'yes Mom', LOL. Gosh life is tough isn't it and you have a heavy burden there on your shoulders. It is understandable that it could get you down, way down from time to time. But hopefully, these are phases and the feelings pass or lift and you emerge again. Try to keep doing the things you know are good for you; they will sustain you and take your own advice, be kind to yourself. Do what you need to do for yourself to feel okay again. Thinking about you and sending thoughts of strength your way.

  4. How about a big ol' HUG? I am proud of you, getting back on the treamill. I have been there myself, starting over again after months off of exercise. Not easy. Good for you! Head over to my blog today. Mr. Murphy will make you smile. ;)

  5. Hey, we all hit these bumps......and it's ok. It isn't the bump that matters, it's how we leave it can do it.

  6. ((Hugs)) to you sweet friend. I am so glad you are swimming back to the island. I knew/know you can do it! I can't wait to see your projects. I do recall you have bought some pretty yarn not so long ago....hmmmmm. :) Wishing you a day filled with much love and joy sweet friend. :)

  7. I am so glad you're back! Hugs from AL!